Post by ryan on Jun 22, 2011 12:58:44 GMT -5
ryan joshua ashlock.
- - - - - - -
Welcome, please take a seat. Let's start out with the basics. Why did you agree to this interview?
"Well, my mom asked me if it it was something I'd be into. I said no, and she sent me anyway. Stage moms, you know?"
It must be rough, being in the spotlight for this... thing.
"Spotlight? Me? Haha, no. It's not like I have a third eye, or can see into the future or anything. Most people don't even believe me. Like you."
What do you mean? I believe you."
"No you don't. You're too skeptical. I don't blame you, I wouldn't believe me either. Most people just assume I have really good people skills."
I see.. Well, why don't you introduce yourself.
"My name is Ryan Ashlock. I am seventeen years old. I can influence people's minds."
.... That's just a little creepy.
"Hell, I'm a mutant. What did you expect? 'I can shoot flowers and rainbows out of my fingers?' ... Do you know how awesome that'd be? I want to be able to do that now. Curse you, spaghetti monster, for not giving me that power!"
Oh, so you're an atheist?
"Smart! Yes, I am. Or... maybe agnostic? I don't know. I'm open to people trying to sway me to their religion as long as they don't go overboard, but honestly, I have not heard anything that doesn't sound like... just stories. Nice stories, to convince you to be a good person. Which I try to be without having to follow a religion."
I see. So, you go to a special school, right?
"Oops, sorry. I've been getting too far off subject, haven't I? Yes, I go to a school in Colorado called Highwell Academy."
What's it like there?
"It's like Hogwarts. For mutants."
Hogwarts for mutants?
".. I'm sorry, I'm not really good at explaining things. It's nice. I like it there, I guess. It's nice being surrounded by people who are even weirder then I am."
What about your family? Does anyone else show... abilities?
"Nope, so far, I'm the only one. But I'm also the oldest. I have two younger brothers, Darren and James. Darren is ten, and James is fourteen. They all live in Trinidad, Colorado. Which, did you know, is the sex change capital of America? My mom worries about them staying there. But it's close and nice, I guess. My grandma said my dad had the same ability I do, before he died. So, maybe it does run in the family?"
Your mom is worried about your brothers... getting sex changes?
"Haha! I guess. I don't really know. She's not really into that whole "lgbt" thing. Which kind of sucks. I'm pansexual, which means, love is love and I could probably marry a tree if I thought it loved me back.. Not that I've been loving on trees lately.. Oh God, you're going to take that out of context, aren't you? Like Rita Skeeter style.. 'Teenage Mutants Marrying Trees!' Oh God..."
You seem slightly paranoid.
"Only slightly? Then I'm doing a good job!"
Tell us some more about your skill.
"Well, alright. See, I have this thing called empathy. It means I can sense people's emotions. And I can influence them. If I wanted too, I could probably turn a lynch mob into a group singing folk songs around a campfire. Alright, no, that's me sounding a little... stuck up. That would take a lot of work. But I think I could probably pull it off... After I finish my training, of course."
Training?
"At the school. What, do you think we just sit around taking calculus?"
Oh, well, I didn't think about it...
"You probably shouldn't think about it too much.."
So, why did your mom want you to do this interview?
"It's money? I don't know. Like I said, she's pretty much a borderline stage mom."
I hear the Westboro Baptist Church paid your house a visit when you were living in Kansas.
"You heard right. Totalllly turned a few of them away from that abomination they continue to call a church. Felt good, Alec. Felt good."
What a hero?
You just don't even know... The amount of hatred in that group was overwhelming. See, when you're around a whole group who is all feeling the same emotion, it kind of overwhelms you. That's why crowds scare me, sometimes."
Well, Ryan, we're out of time. Thank you for answering these questions honestly.
"Well, as far as you know..."
- - - - - - -
Welcome, please take a seat. Let's start out with the basics. Why did you agree to this interview?
"Well, my mom asked me if it it was something I'd be into. I said no, and she sent me anyway. Stage moms, you know?"
It must be rough, being in the spotlight for this... thing.
"Spotlight? Me? Haha, no. It's not like I have a third eye, or can see into the future or anything. Most people don't even believe me. Like you."
What do you mean? I believe you."
"No you don't. You're too skeptical. I don't blame you, I wouldn't believe me either. Most people just assume I have really good people skills."
I see.. Well, why don't you introduce yourself.
"My name is Ryan Ashlock. I am seventeen years old. I can influence people's minds."
.... That's just a little creepy.
"Hell, I'm a mutant. What did you expect? 'I can shoot flowers and rainbows out of my fingers?' ... Do you know how awesome that'd be? I want to be able to do that now. Curse you, spaghetti monster, for not giving me that power!"
Oh, so you're an atheist?
"Smart! Yes, I am. Or... maybe agnostic? I don't know. I'm open to people trying to sway me to their religion as long as they don't go overboard, but honestly, I have not heard anything that doesn't sound like... just stories. Nice stories, to convince you to be a good person. Which I try to be without having to follow a religion."
I see. So, you go to a special school, right?
"Oops, sorry. I've been getting too far off subject, haven't I? Yes, I go to a school in Colorado called Highwell Academy."
What's it like there?
"It's like Hogwarts. For mutants."
Hogwarts for mutants?
".. I'm sorry, I'm not really good at explaining things. It's nice. I like it there, I guess. It's nice being surrounded by people who are even weirder then I am."
What about your family? Does anyone else show... abilities?
"Nope, so far, I'm the only one. But I'm also the oldest. I have two younger brothers, Darren and James. Darren is ten, and James is fourteen. They all live in Trinidad, Colorado. Which, did you know, is the sex change capital of America? My mom worries about them staying there. But it's close and nice, I guess. My grandma said my dad had the same ability I do, before he died. So, maybe it does run in the family?"
Your mom is worried about your brothers... getting sex changes?
"Haha! I guess. I don't really know. She's not really into that whole "lgbt" thing. Which kind of sucks. I'm pansexual, which means, love is love and I could probably marry a tree if I thought it loved me back.. Not that I've been loving on trees lately.. Oh God, you're going to take that out of context, aren't you? Like Rita Skeeter style.. 'Teenage Mutants Marrying Trees!' Oh God..."
You seem slightly paranoid.
"Only slightly? Then I'm doing a good job!"
Tell us some more about your skill.
"Well, alright. See, I have this thing called empathy. It means I can sense people's emotions. And I can influence them. If I wanted too, I could probably turn a lynch mob into a group singing folk songs around a campfire. Alright, no, that's me sounding a little... stuck up. That would take a lot of work. But I think I could probably pull it off... After I finish my training, of course."
Training?
"At the school. What, do you think we just sit around taking calculus?"
Oh, well, I didn't think about it...
"You probably shouldn't think about it too much.."
So, why did your mom want you to do this interview?
"It's money? I don't know. Like I said, she's pretty much a borderline stage mom."
I hear the Westboro Baptist Church paid your house a visit when you were living in Kansas.
"You heard right. Totalllly turned a few of them away from that abomination they continue to call a church. Felt good, Alec. Felt good."
What a hero?
You just don't even know... The amount of hatred in that group was overwhelming. See, when you're around a whole group who is all feeling the same emotion, it kind of overwhelms you. That's why crowds scare me, sometimes."
Well, Ryan, we're out of time. Thank you for answering these questions honestly.
"Well, as far as you know..."
